A LOVE LETTER TO FELLOW WEDDING INDUSTRY MAMAS

Dear wedding industry mamas,

Let me start by saying you all inspire me. I’m in awe of you and above all, I’m thankful for this wonderful community of like-minded mamas.

Maybe you are an invitation designer, a floral designer, planner, caterer, photographer or in another wedding niche. Whatever your title, I know mama is the most important and I know you are heading full force into wedding season and I’m right there with you with all the feelings of excitement as months if not years of work are about to come into fruition.  I’m also right with you feeling those feelings of guilt as there will be many weekends ahead where you’ll kiss those sweet kiddo faces goodbye and hop in your car and drive away to magical venues to serve your clients so well. I see you as well as you go over and over the list you left your husband or caretaker for your babies. Worrying if you left something out. Worrying about all the things while simultaneously looking forward to diving into a day of work and being someone other than Mommy for the day. It’s a weird feeling isn’t it?

I see you on all the late work nights. Like you, I’m thankful to be building a business that allows me to stay home during the week. I’m thankful that I have the drive and ambition to build something I’m proud of and be working towards my very own vision of having it all-id that even exists. Doesn’t mean this season isn’t hard. To be honest, it’s my hardest yet. Some people will call it “the best of both worlds” and some days it is! Those people don’t know that you’ve had to turn down multiple play dates that week because of deadlines for brides and a to-do list as long as a CVS receipt. I see you on those nights when you’re exhausted from chasing toddlers, laundry, and failed naps when instead of crawling into bed you have another few hours of your day to go. The late nights are when you can finally edit that wedding or send over contracts and invoices. Return those vendor emails or finish your blog for the following day. Those people don’t know that you are/were stressed about stepping away from work for a bit because maternity leave isn’t a thing when you own your own business and the bills don’t stop. I see you during every late night and every stressful moment. Bags under my eyes and all. I know that your life, like mine has to run on routines and schedules and systems. There is no other choice.

I see you in the moments where you feel you are failing at everything in your life. If there were only more hours in a day. If only you had listened and outsourced more but like me, you keep thinking you can do it all and do it all well. Aren’t we the silliest? I see you when the feelings of failure are amplified by the endless scrolling through Instagram and the comparison bug strikes. You used to be doing all the shoots, attending all the conferences, and had content galore to post and talk about. Can we laugh about how we are planning our couple’s most beautiful of days covered in drool, snot, and other bodily fluids we don’t need to mention? How ironic, huh? And can we talk about how somehow society has told us that we need to appear put together and perfect? I’m there with you when you just want to scream from the social media rooftops about how this whole mama-hood and business owning thing is HARD. Let’s scream together shall we? And can we actually be more real on Instagram instead of just talking about being more real…yes?

At the end of the day, our business is another baby of ours and we would choose over and over again to work until the wee hours of the morning, creating an unparalleled experience for our clients and bringing to life what can only be described as magic. We would chose to sacrifice over and over again for this life we are creating. To show our babies that you can create something that you love. It’s a very powerful tool that we posses.

So know this fellow wedding industry mamas, you are a badass. Yes, even on the days you think you are failing (by the way, you’re not) and the days where you have completed exactly 0 items on your list. Not many people can juggle thoughts of client albums, stem counts, rental orders with thoughts of diaper changes, car seats, pumping, and the other one million things us moms think about in a 24 hour period.

Again, you are a badass. Don’t forget it. Write it on 100 post-it’s and stick all around your house.  Remember that when that pang of guilt hits when you kiss those sweet faces goodbye on a Saturday morning to take part in the special days of other families, you are amazing.

It’s wedding season mamas. Let’s do this.

Warmly,

Michelle

FRIDAY FAVORITES

Welcome back! Hope you had a wonderful week! Here’s what’s bringing me a little of joy!

First Aid Beauty Radiance Pads

I’ve been using these for about 2 weeks and they are great! Us mamas need a little radiance in our lives amiright? Treat yo self!

Find them here.

pottery barn kids easter baskets and liners

Classic and adorable. You can’t go wrong with Pottery Barn Kid’s Easter baskets and liners.

Find them here.

threshold 4-cube organizer

OK! I’m all for toy organization that blends in with our home instead of obnoxious colors. I love the height of this cube (Caroline can reach everything) and the design doesn’t stand out in our family room which I love.

Find it here.

stars above Cozy robe

Give me all the comfy things please. This is super cozy y’all. Stars Above is a new sleep line at Target and I’m all about it. This robe is at the top of my list, but be sure to check out their cute pj’s too!

Find it here.

pottery barn serving bowl

This bowl is one sale today for under $25 and I just love the design of it. Would make a great host gift for Easter!

Find it here.

Inchbug labels

After months of sticky labels that just fall off Caroline’s cups or writing in permanent marker which just looks awful and fades, these are AWESOME! A great price point and tons of colors. Plus Caroline can’t get them off. A total mom win!

Find them here.

old navy luxe tee

Ok! I have found my new go to T-shirt! Here’s what I love about them

1. They are $8!

2. Come in an array of colors and neck styles

3. Are silky soft

4. Aren’t see through

5. Are longer (YAS!)

6. Loving the sleeve length

A game changer t-shirt perfect for Summer

Find it here.

Wayfair bedframe

I get asked a lot about where our bed frame is from and my bed brings me joy each and every day so it’s the perfect addition to my little Friday Favorites list! This bed frame has been one of our best purchases of the last year. I love the neutral color and the studs. It’s so well made and the kicker- It’s under $300 for a king size. Seriously a steal.

old navy linen pants

Save the best for last? I think so! I will be living in these pants! You know I”m all about what’s comfy and mom approved and these are both! They come in a ton of colors and aren’t too thin like I know a lot of linen pants can be! Obsessed! Go get yourself a pair or two or three (Like me!-hah!)

Find them here.

Warmly,

Michelle

17 Things no one tells you about the first year of motherhood

I’ve been a mom now for 21 months and there’s a lot I didn’t know going into this whole parenthood thing. So today I thought I’d do a little mama blog for those new mamas out there. There’s no sugar coating here, I’m being straight up honest about things no one tells you.

1.breastfeeding is hard always

Not just the first few weeks. It’s hard the entire time you decide to breastfeed. Sure the pain will subside, but you’ll never stop guessing if your baby is getting enough, stop stressing about pumping enough, stressing about engorgement, thinking people are judging you when you breastfeed in public (though you will stop caring what people think) Breastfeeding is a commitment and it’s hard day 1 and hard one year later.

2.you’ll never know what substance is all over you, and you probably won’t care

No one told me just how gross my clothes would be all the time. I never know if I’m covered in poop, pee, baby food, breastmilk, formula, snot, drool, or my own tears. Probably all of them all the time.

3.You’ll think you’re going bald

You hear about postpartum hair loss, but no one really tells you how bad it is. I was shocked I didn’t go bald. If anyone looks at my google history there will be a ridiculous amount of searches pertaining to hair loss…How can piles and piles of hair come out of my head each time I shower or brush my hair and I not be bald? Amazing. Also, people don’t tell you that postpartum regrowth takes 17 years and you’ll be dealing with not so cute bang looking things around your hairline forever.

4.Your friendships with your non-mom friends will change and for the worst

It’s true and I had no idea. Your friendships with those friends will be different and it sucks. You’re in different seasons that don’t exactly line up right now. Your list of things in common has shrunk and it’s really hard to come face to face with.

5. Even if you’re exclusively breastfeeding, your period may come back surprisingly early

TA-DA! If you ever wondered how Caleb came to be! Caroline was a fertility baby and Caleb was a big fat wonderful surprise. On top of just going through fertility treatments, I was exclusively breastfeeding every 2 hours…Just sayin’. Doctors talk to you about birth control for a reason. No one told me this and now I’m living the glorious Irish twin life. But seriously, it’s the best.

6. You’ll be out-touched (poor hubby)

You’ll be holding a baby all day and all night and the magical moments that the baby falls asleep in their own space will be so freeing. The thought of your husband touching you those first few months will fee daunting and make you feel guilty- as if you had anymore brain space to take up. Not being touched is like a mini vacation. This was something I thought would be a reality the first few weeks, but honestly it lasts a very long time…

7. Mom shaming and judging is real and you’ll be guilty too

There I said it. You’ll be guilty of this too. You’ll hate mom shaming, but you’ll be chatting on the phone or texting a mom friend about something so-in-so is doing with their baby and you’ll judge the crap out of them. It’s natural. It doesn’t make it ok and at the end of the day you’ll know that every mom is just doing their best, but you’ll have moments of your own mom-shaming. I never thought I would, but I’m being honest here. I think you’re always told that other moms judge and that you won’t- YOU WILL.

8. That it’s ok to still be you

We’re told over and over again that life will never be the same and everything will change. It’s true, totally true. However, I wish people would tell you that it’s ok to still be you. To still go and get your nails done for an hour or have dinner with your friends. It’s ok to keep some of your pre-kiddo identity. In fact, I think it makes you a better mother. Can we start telling new moms this, please?

9. To be IN the photos

No one tells you to BE IN THE PHOTOS. And not just your newborn session where you have makeup on and a flattering maxi dress, tell your husband, mom, or friend who’s visiting to take photos of you and your baby in the normal and mundane moments. Sure, your hair hasn’t been washed and you'r clothes are covered in the pre-mentioned gross stuff but it doesn’t matter. Be in the photos, mama.

10. That any and all germs feel like the end of the world.

When anyone touches or holds your baby or comes within 25 feet (and I mean anyone outside of the maybe 3-4 people you have the all clear) You’ll be screaming inside. I feel that people tell you that you’ll ask people to wash their hands or stay home if you’re sick, but no one tells you that you’ll become a maniac and will be able to sense a runny nosed person 5 miles away or become psychic and know when someone is about to cough in the same room. The first time your baby gets sick you will feel like a complete failure and call the on-call nurse line a dozen times and you’ll freak out thinking your baby has caught some exotic virus when it’s really just a cold. That’s ok though, you’re mama bear now-trust that gut. Call the doctor as much as you want those first few months. I’ll say don’t google, but you will-and that’s ok. Also, no one ever tells you how many complete strangers will think it’s totally appropriate to touch and/or hold your baby. It’s shocking.

11. You’ll hate toys

I feel like you’re told you’ll love all the cute toys…wrong. You’ll have a handful you don’t mind but the rest, they are the enemy that takes over your home. That you’ll spend hours researching how to best organize, and you’ll step on every 5 minutes. By the time your baby’s first birthday rolls around, you’ll be asking close friends how to politely put “don’t bring a toy as a gift” on the party invitation.

12. When your baby starts solids, it’s terrifying

How come no one ever tells you that your baby will literally choke about 3 times per week when they start solid foods? I had never heard this before, but it’s so stressful letting them try new foods. I had never been told what to look for with gagging or that that was a thing…

13. That babies only wear onesies for basically the first 6 months of life.

All those super cute tutus or collared button down shirts? Yeah, babies only wear footies pj’s and onesies basically the first 6 months. I can’t tell you how many outfits I bought for Caroline before she was born that still have the tag on. Onesies are where it’s at. Save the cute outfits for 6 months +. Also, zippered onesie. You’re welcome.

14. THAT BABIES SLEEP A TON THAT FIRST WEEK HOME (BUT NOT AT NIGHT)

Ok, you always here how you’ll never get any sleep…but NO ONE tells you that you’ll literally be calling your pediatrician asking how to wake up your 4 day old to breastfeed…I can’t believe they let you leave the hospital not telling you this.

15. the amount of time you’ll be looking at photos of your baby.

When you finally get your baby to sleep and you have some time to decompress, yeah you’ll be scrolling through your phone watching videos you’ve taken and looking at every photo of them. I literally have Instagram videos playing on my phone as I write this.

16. How common postpartum depression and anxiety is and that’s ok to get help.

It’s ok to see a doctor if you are not feeling yourself and it’s past the baby-blues timeframe. It does not make you any less of a mother or a bad mother. It makes you a great one that you are brave enough to help yourself. People don’t say this enough. It’s ok to not be ok and you’ll be surprised by how many other new mom’s are going through exactly the same things.

17. That it’s ok to not know what you’re doing or not to love being a mother right away.

News flash, no one knows what they are doing and something that works for one baby is probably not going to work for yours. One day at a time mama, you’re doing a great job! Also, not feeling those overwhelming feelings of love towards your baby right away? Yep, normal. People always say your life instantly changes for the better when that baby’s placed in your arms, but no one says that a lot of the time that doesn’t happen right away.

Warmly,

Michelle