I've been reading many articles on Jeff Bezos this week and listening to interviews he has done. If you don't know, Jeff Bezos is the founder of Amazon and oh so inspiring (at least to me). Something that struck me is Jeff's belief in work-life harmony rather than work-life balance. He says that work-life-balance implies there is a strict tradeoff between work and your home life where you are always spending more energy on one and instead, work-life-harmony allows you to have the same amount of energy and enthusiasm in both areas of your life. I'm loving me some Jeff Bezos lately. His early interviews are so interesting and I've enjoyed learning about him.
It's no secret that after I had Caroline, I struggled to get back into my businesses. for the first 8-12 weeks, every time I opened my laptop I felt this pang of guilt and equally guilty when I knew I wasn't putting the work and effort into One Sweet Day in May and Ruffled Lane that they deserved. I just wanted to (and did) hold her all day every day. Once wedding season picked back up it felt good to be back to doing what I love and slowly but surely we have formed a schedule that works. I thankfully feel both work and my home life are in that "harmony" that I so longed for. Not that I did anything wrong, I just think I underestimated how much I was going to love being a mom. A apart of it too was Caroline's ups and downs with sleep and lack of a schedule which of course is normal. I'm just a person who thrives on a schedule. i like to look at the week ahead and know what every day holds-something difficult to do with an infant obviously. My advice to a work from home/business owner mama with a newborn-6 month old- be realistic about taking time off. Real time off. And that's a different amount of time for everyone. For me, it was about 10 weeks until I finally had the energy and motivation to get back to the work side of things. I say enjoy those early days without the guilt. Schedule things in advance and be honest with clients. Outsource. Don't feel you have to continually be present on social media to stay relevant. There are priorities in business that as the owner and manager need to be addressed, but overall- relax and know that you will get to a place where you'll feel like you again. Those infant days are gone so quickly and I really wish I took is easier on myself.
I've gotten to a place that...
1.) I know our schedule will need to be modified. With a baby who changes every day and business needs that constantly evolve, the schedule that works for me and my family at this moment will not be the same months or even weeks from now.
2.) I know every day won't be perfect and that's ok. Sometimes Caroline will require more of me. There will be many days where her naps don't go as scheduled and I'll have to adjust the day and other times where a bride will need me when an issue arises or a last minute vendor meeting is called.
3.) I'm more comfortable saying "no". I'm inherently a huge YES girl, but I'm learning that my family comes first and if it's something that doesn't fit into my schedule, I can say no. It's so freeing and leaves me way less guilty.
I get asked a lot since Caroline was born "Do you still love your business?" The answer is a resounding YES! Even more so actually. My why has changed and it makes what I do so much more meaningful. I want to show Caroline that you can create a business and life you love through hard work and kindness. When she's older if she's interested, I can't wait to have her in the studio helping me out. This job is so beautiful in allowing me to provide for our family while also letting me stay at home with my girl experiencing every little thing. I'm very blessed to have this life and though it takes hustling and late nights, it's so worth it, especially now. To be able to dive deep into projects that I adore that provide a nice life for us while tending to Caroline almost 100% of the time is priceless to me.
Below is the weekly schedule that works for us. Again, it will change and what works for me will not work for others. The key is to find what is best for you so you can feel that harmony.
This outline is for non-wedding weeks. Wedding weeks are focused on forals and set up.
Monday & Wednesday- One Sweet Day in May Days.
7am- Caroline wakes for the day.
7am-8am- Caroline is with Chris while I have a "me" hour whether that is showering, or spending that extra hour in bed if Caroline had a rough night.
8am-9am- Family hour. Breakfast and playing with Caroline.
9am- Chris goes into the office and starts work. Caroline goes down for nap #1.
I use this nap time (usually 1.5-2 hours) to take care of priority things. Answering morning emails, proposals that need updating, vendor emails, floral order updates for example.
11am- Caroline wakes. Me and her time. If any errands need running this time can work for them. Mostly we do tummy time and play here.
1pm-1:30pm- Nap #2 (1.5-2 hours) This is the time to check emails once again and if all priorities have been completed, I can dive into the secondary list of things that include special projects, calendar updating, social media content and so forth. Oh, and I also have lunch and if needed, cleaning up, laundry, and other household needs can happen here.
3pm-3:30pm- Caroline wakes. Me and her time. Errands can happen here.
5:30pm-6:30pm Chris is off work and we have family time for an hour or so. Dinner time. Monday evenings- If a meeting is needed or I have a consultation, Whether through Skype or in person locally, I schedule them for Monday evenings if possible.
Wednesday evenings- Since Chris and I started dating, we have date night on Wednesdays. We've continued this since Caroline was born but now we just have a cute little third wheel.
7pm-7:30pm- Caroline's bedtime. Regular Monday evenings I enjoy with Chris (or the Bachelor haha)
Tuesday & Thursday- Ruffled Lane Days
I won't bore you listing Caroline's wake and nap times as they are the same on these days too. Our schedule is the same time wise with my morning "me" time. The focus on Tuesdays and Thursdays just changes to Ruffled Lane. In case you don't know I also own Ruffled Lane which is a hand dyed and curated silk ribbon company. Our shop is online and this little part of my heart requires a surprising (or maybe not surprising) amount of planning and behind the scenes work.
So during nap times I still check my One Sweet Day in May email, but my main task of the Tuesdays and Thursdays is getting Ruffled Lane orders ready and shipped, working on custom orders, updating the shop, and planning ahead. This company has become a huge part of my life and our life as a family that it requires the attention of 2 days a week.
Tuesday evenings I keep mainly free again like Monday's. This is where I plan dinner with a friend or if absolutely needed (let's say Caroline's naps didn't happen or something took up a crazy amount of time) After Caroline goes down for the night, I can sneak out to Starbies down the road and have an hour or 2 or uninterrupted work time to catch up on things that need to get done for brides or the businesses.
Thursday nights Chris has guy's nights and is gone from about 6:30pm to midnight so I use these nights to work too. Usually while watching Grey's Anatomy, but I love Thursday nights while Caroline sleeps. I call these night my "creative" nights where I dive into the special projects, dye new ribbon, or further work on design outlines for brides. These are some of my favorite nights.
Fridays- OFF
That's right. Off. Again, on non-wedding weeks. I think it was Emily Ley that started the Fridays of no work just her and baby time. I'm following that and I'm so glad that I am. Not that Caroline is old enough for real playdates or outings yet and she won't remember these days, but Friday's are for just me and her. I am a believer in quality over quantity of time and Fridays allow me that quality time. During Caroline's naps on these days, I get stuff done around the house and spend time on me.
Weekends are just like anyone else's. Family time, church, house things, grocery shopping ect.I also like to schedule meetings and consultations on weekends because Chris is off. Though there have been many times where I show up to an in-person meeting and my bride asks me where Caroline is haha. I'm very thankful for the best of brides who are so understanding and caring.
So there it is. Our weekly schedule. I'm fully prepared for this to 100% flip upside down now that I've shared it with my followers haha. But seriously, this is what works for us and may look completely different for someone else. I guess I'm just super proud of myself for getting to this place. 6 months ago I wasn't sure that I would.
Happy Monday sweet friends.
Michelle
Images by Andrea Pesce Photography.
